My man's team is officially out of the playoffs. I think he's a little sad because he had such a great year, and he would have liked to just keep on playing. Not so secretly, I am happy to be headed back to our home in Canada to see all our friends and family. Before we leave though, there will be one more cocktail party so I will have to find something sharp to wear. I'm tired of dresses, so I think I'll just go high waisted dress pants, my tallest heels, and an elegant classic knit on top. How is the end of the playoffs for the other hockey wives and fans?! Is it dragging out like a dead horse, or slipping away too fast. Playoff comments, anecdotes, and questions welcomed.
-HW
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My husband loved hockey. I find it hard to watch now. He never missed a game. And playoffs were his favorite.
ReplyDeleteI wish you well. The outfit sounds beautiful.
God I wouldn't know lol. The Thrashers were in once and we got swept. I WISH I knew. Sorry for your hubby that he's out of the playoffs, happy for you though. I would love all of the extra hockey and the chance to party with Lord Stanley, but I admit I would be VERY happy it was time for him to shave!
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your summer and I hope you keep updating.
Well my favorite team(Pittsburgh) is still in it but this series has me on pins and needles knowing what the Habs did to the Capitals. I just hope that they continue cause the less I have to go without hockey the better it is for my sanity even though I still have baseball to watch.
ReplyDeleteI'm a huge fan of the game, so of course I was disappointed when my team got knocked out in the first round. But given the flooding disaster that overtook downtown Nashville and the subsequent damage to the arena, it was probably a blessing in disguise!
ReplyDeleteMy man is in the Eastern Finals in the AHL now and it's hurting..I miss him so much. Definately dragging like a dead horse :( Just want him home, but by the time he gets home hockey will be starting shortly after..
ReplyDeletehttp://thelense.tumblr.com/
ReplyDeleteI don't know but I've never been a fan of "high waisted" pants. They either look like "middle age mom pants" or they have the ability to make the thinnest woman look like she has a big ol' pear shaped butt....just not a good look.
ReplyDeleteHaha I like them.
ReplyDeleteI love high waisted pants, if worn with the right top they look super stylish, and of course, you can never go wrong with high heels :)
ReplyDeleteFor the hockey part, I'm not a hockey wife, just married a hockey fan, and our favorite team is still in, and kicking some Penguins behinds!
I wanted to know what you thought of Hockey Players smoking/chewing tobacco? make a post about it?
ReplyDeleteIm not a wife..just a huge hockey fan. My favorite team just got knocked out last night. I have been walking around all day like a chicken with its head cut off...not quite sure what to do with myself.
ReplyDeletehave to finish my thoughts now that dinner isn't burning. I have struggled with postpartum depression since my son was born and hockey gave me an escape.
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ReplyDeleteI found this amusing article today on Yahoo. These were responses from the men who were surveyed.
ReplyDeleteOutfits You Should Never (Ever) Wear on a Date:
While our gal pals will almost always give their stamp of approval to fashion-forward outfits, it turns out that some trendy pieces just freak guys out. Here, a few of our guy buddies recall the date outfits that confused them and surprised them—and a few that made them run for the hills.
1.Stripper heels and micro-shorts
2.Harem pants:Those weird high-waisted pants that get wide in the legs and then taper at the ankle? Those are the worst.
3.Glitzy, trendy overkill:
4.Distracting (and potentially dangerous) accessories
5.All your favorite trends—at once
6.Whale-tail-flaunting pants
My ex was crazy about his pregame ritual. He ate the same meal and watched the same DVD before every game. I learned to leave him alone for 2 hours before rink time. I don't miss after he would get eliminated. He would obsess over what went wrong and mope around for weeks. All you can do is be supportive and understanding I guess.
ReplyDeleteI'm not terribly disappointed that my boyfriend's team lost out in playoffs. Of course I want them to go far but once spring hits I get the itch to go home and live in my own house and see our friends and family again. The season is just so long that even he starts to just want it to end so he can return home too. The worst part of the end of the season however is the packing! Brutal. I won't miss having to pack up and move twice a year (if not more because of call-ups) when he eventually decides to hang 'em up.
ReplyDeleteAs far as rituals go, I'd love to see a blog on that, also including superstitions. Hearing other stories are so amusing to me, because my boyfriend really doesn't have any rituals or superstitions. I think I'm worse than him on game days! Haha.
My boyfriend plays in the AHL. They got swept in their playoff series and then he got called up to the NHL for their playoffs. That was super exciting for the both of us but unfortunatly he only got to play 3 games before they were done.
ReplyDeleteNow were just axiously waiting to see if he will get picked up by the same team (he's free agent) or if its relocation for us. Ohhh the off-season!
(Also excited that my FLYERS are still in it...champs?)
I was pretty bummed when my brothers team got eliminated and the same team eliminated my husbands :-( It is stressfull more so during playoffs then the regular season, but someone above me did write, we signed up for it when we got married to these guys so we do have to put up with it. I hope one day either one of them can win the cup (hopefully both of them do!) It is their dream. Good luck to everyones husbands and teams that are still in it!
ReplyDeleteHope your cocktail party is fun, safe trip home!
Hahahaha Marianna why do you lie so much?! I have you on Facebook.. Yes, your brother is in the NHL but you definately are nowhere close to having a husband, let alone one in the NHL. In fact, 2 months ago you were doing something very interestign with a Plymouth Whaler (OHL) after the hockey game behind the rink!
ReplyDeleteDon't lie sweetie.. But dream big :)
I miss seeing the Penguins... glad Lapierre (Habs) is out, though. God, you don't want to get in a fight with him if you are his gf, cuz he will irritate the shit outta you. ;-)
ReplyDeleteOn the other side: it's nice for the wag's to have their guys at home. Have fun!
Since its inception I have been reading this blog and its comments. I am skeptical of some who post and find that I am able to relate to others. I am weary of posting this comment - but I need advice. I am relatively new to this whole hockey world. My boyfriend and I have been together just over a year. I visit his board on talk-sports, twice, three times a day… I have it bookmarked on my blackberry, computer at work, computer at home… I am consumed. It is actually changing me into an entirely different person in our relationship. I hear myself say things to him and I actually don’t know what I am saying or why I am saying it - everything is so irrational but I have lost my ability to be rational when it comes to this. It’s so easy to say don’t read it, or you just have to ignore it and trust him. I want to and I have no reason not to trust him, but when you read stories people post about hooking up with him - How do you stay confident in him, in yourself, in your relationship? Of course I know I should trust him, but I also need to protect myself in all of this.
ReplyDeleteHe and I are in the middle of dealing with big decisions. He asked me to move in with him, I am hesitant to quit my job. I don’t want to have to ask for money to have lunch with the girls or get a pedicure or have him judge me for buying another pair of shoes with his money. None of these things he would ever make into a big deal, I have just worked up this idea of how I think my life will be like there and with him… in my mind. I feel like my job is the last part of my life that I can hold on to so I’m not lumped into the category of hockey girlfriend or wife. I, by no means, mean that in a bad way, I have so much respect for all of you who are able to put yourself 100% into your relationship with your man. From the outside looking in people think it’s so easy, clearly from reading this comment you can tell that I am struggling with this decision.
There are posts, of course, on the board about me. Some true - some false. How do I decide which posts overall have truth to them and which ones don’t? Do I even need to decide, why can’t I just write them off for what they are? For a while he was content to listen to my rants, let me finish and then talk about it. I have read him the board post by post and to make me feel better, because some of what is written is upsetting, he would assure me none of it is true. I have wore his patience down by this point, he is furious when I bring it up. Which at this point I can’t blame him. Everything I say about it comes out like an attack on him, but really I am just so frustrated that someone else is so invested in my life and relationship that I want to scream. I so badly want him to feel the same and relate to my frustrations, for a while he said all the right things to make me feel better, now all that I have created is a new frustration for him- with me and I can’t blame him.
For the most part we are able to stay under the radar and keep a low profile as a couple. We don’t live together, but because of our general proximity, during the season, I am able to be with him most weekends - when the team is at home. Thankfully he plays in a city that has great fans and they, for the most part, are very respectful of our privacy. I have to say that in comparison to what some of the other girls on our team have said about them on their boards, I am quite lucky, I haven’t been personally attacked - yet! That doesn’t seem to be helping with my level of crazy these days.
I know that he had a life before me and that is not something that he denies, nor would he. I just hope that someone who reads this blog can relate somehow to how I am feeling. I actually feel crazy. How do I stop reading the fact and fiction of my own life according to other people? Or at least stop caring…
Time. It takes time unfortunately... I was & sometimes still am consumed by the stupid board. I check it daily & I used to make him listen & read them too, but it got to the same point you were at & he just started to ignore me about it, so I shut it out. He knows I still check it but I decided to jump two feet in & move in so that I could remove a large number of doubts from my mind. I'll be honest, often I feel like I gave up part of my life to make this relationship work. My family isn't exactly happy, but his family knows the sacrifice I have made to be with their son & they appreciate it & that has made some of this easier. I know its scary, it's like giving up your independence, and sometimes I do regret it, when I ask him for money just to go grocery shopping & it seems so pathetic but I know exactly how you feel. Before it was your money and a pair of shoes was on your dime. But, if this decision is what your boyfriend wants for both of you, then he should hear your concerns, and his reaction or reply should help you. Take out the part of the equation of what he does for a living besides it being just his job. Do you love him? Do you want to be with him? Because the situation isn't going to change, and its something you truly just need to find in your heart. Follow your heart, everything else will follow, as cheesy as that sounds.
ReplyDeleteI can't relate to the talk-sports message board part of your post, fortunately for me there hasn't been anything posted on my boy friends in a long period of time. But, I can however relate to the moving in with him situation. I live a long ways away from where mine plays. Its about a 5 hour plane ride and I have a career at home as well. We've been doing long distance for about 2 years now, with the exception of spending the off seasons together and this upcoming season we're in the midst of making the same huge desicion of if we're ready. I'm in the same boat as you with the money senario, but I have smartly been saving a lot of money so he doesn't need to support me 100% when the time is right. Obviously my funds are going to run out at some point, but I think that will ease me into the life style a little easier at least. My feeling on the whole moving thing is not to do it until your absolutely fed up with doing the long distance, flying, driving, your lonely, bored etc. if your still enjoying your day to day life at home and you haven't been sent over the edge then stay. One season is 8+ months, it sounds like a long time.. but in a life time thats nothing. If you don't feel ready then I would wait just one more season and keep on doing this until your sent over the edge. In most cases if your moving in together your going to end up together... so just remember that when you let your life go, it isn't just for that season or contract. Its probably going to be for life. Enjoy going out with your girlfriends and spending time with your family, live day to day and enjoy every minute of it. Because as long as your dating/married to a hockey player you will have to give all those things up at some point in time. And last but not least.. I'm guessing your young?? I am too. Whats the rush, if you two really and truly love eachother then you both are always going to be there for eachother. You have him for ever, but you only have your youth once. Marry yourself before you marry someone else. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry but I don't understand why you would have to give up our education and why the option of working isn't possible if you follow your guy. I mean all the NHL and probably most of the junior teams are located in big city so you could go to university over there plus there's also the option of taking an online class! And about a job, why couldn't you get a job in the city your man plays? I know some wife do, why not you? If you're from an other country you can always get a work visa! Because I don't know about you but personnaly I would get bored if I had nothing to do except stay at home and go to my bf hockey games!
ReplyDeleteThe dreaded talksports blog... I obsessed and then one day I realized I was sabbotaging my relationship. Here is what I've finally learned: cheating is painful but obsessing over the gf board will not stop him from cheating or take the pain away if it happens. Enjoy the time you have with him and if he is an idiot and cheats you will find out eventually. Being a public figure it is a lot harder to keep secrets and eventually it will come out if it happens.
ReplyDeleteYou cannot control someones actions, you can only control how you deal with them. Good luck Hun I wish you the best!
Its alot more complicated for canadian or american girls to work in another country. It takes a long time to get a visa especially for the states, unless your a doctor or a lawyer then good luck. Watch what you say and don't judge hockey wives/girlfriends by thinking we all just dont work because we're lazy and live off his money. It is alot more complicated then that!
ReplyDeleteI agree with the poster above. A lot of professional designations don't work across the border. I know mine won't.
ReplyDeleteAlso, what would you tell your employer? "I can only work 8 months of the year because I have to return to my home in the summer. Oh, and until the end of Feb, there's a possibility I might have to be transferred to another city, just in case my husband/fiance/bf is traded" ?
I can relate to the talk sports. I still check it everyday but don't say anything to my guy. He was patient at first... now he just gets annoyed.
http://thelense.tumblr.com/
ReplyDeleteI just stumbled upon this board. I am 19yrs old, just started dating(4mon) a whl player, now going onto NHL next season, so I'm fairly new to this! My friend showed me the Talk-sports board, and I feel the same way you do! Especially at this age, it really puts your self-esteem/confidence down, they call you ugly and other vile words, and it hurts, along with the various Hook-up stories. But I've learnt alot just by reading through these comments, I just want to say thanks, you girls have some really helpful advice :)
ReplyDeleteUPDATES?!?!?!?
ReplyDelete.A friend in the league just told me about this blog, so I decided to check it out. After playing in this league for 9 years I find that if you really love your partner and know your partner you would understand what it means to be in the playoffs. The playoffs are a priviledge and when you play in them they never get dragged out like a dead horse. This is what MOST hockey players dream about for their entire careers. We were not so lucky to make playoffs this year and my husband was devasted. I used to not understand what playoffs meant to a player, a team, their fans, management etc, but after I realised how much it meant to the city and to my husband I quickly turned my attitude around. Women, to this day make comments at the end of the season about how they are so "happy we didn't make playoffs, so they can go home and spend time (drink and party) with their friends and family back home". Well, these are the women who usually don't stick aroun d too long , because when their husband or boyfriends realise they are n ot supporting their carrers they split up. Playoffs are what we play for, playoffs are why we spend 9months away from our home towns, playoffs are a step closer to winning the stanley cup, the hardest trophy to win in professional.sports. When that day finally comes.....I mean IF that day finally comes I hope your tune has changed about the playoffs! Happy blogging
ReplyDeleteWell said to the person above. My good friend has been part of a stanley cup team and even though the playoffs are intense, there is nothing like it when you win the cup. I was lucky enough to have had the opportunity to be there with him and share the experience. This is what being a player is all about. They all want to be able to win at their game, this is what they have trained for for most of their lives. And to win this top trophy and have their name etched on the cup to be part of history is what they all dream about. Being apart of their lives means this is your job too. You have made that choice. If it gets to you, if you are glad when he loses and it is him that loses, don't be surprised if he choses his dream over you. He can find someone else and one that will let him live his dream and stand by and support him.
ReplyDeleteAgreed to the posts above this.
ReplyDeleteI have been seeing my guy for almost 7 months, and his NHL team didn't make it past the 2nd round. He was devastated. Everything seemed to just fall apart towards the end with his team and it showed on the ice. I have always been a hockey fan, so I knew it was important. Actually, that's how we met. I was a fan in the stands at a game he was in my home town for. Being a fan, I understand that the playoffs are our biggest goal. It's why we work so bloody hard all season long - to get the Cup. That will never change, so it's time to deal with it. I love my guy, and I would do anything for him.
To the young woman who was asking for advice, I know all too well about those damn talk-sports boards. They are terrible. I wish I knew who to contact to shut them down entirely, but that would never stop the gossip about our guys. My guy knows I go on it every now and then, but I don't go on to check on him. Our relationship is hidden quite well and has always been, to keep my name off those boards at my request. He was all for telling the world we were together, but I asked to keep it on the down-low because I didn't want to be dragged through the gutters. We did discuss it thoroughly and when the time comes for marriage, it will come out and we'll deal with it then, but for now, I'm enjoying being out of the spotlight.
It did suck at first that I was unable to work across the border, but as I continued to 'dig' (and I mean, a couple of months worth), I found a job in my field, and a boss who was willing to sign my work visa. At first it was hard to ask for money for everything, but we talked everything through before I made the move to be with him. He opened a secondary bank account and kept it at a decent balance for me to get around day to day. There wasn't any concern about me over-spending because he knows I'm frugal and am even still driving my beater car...hahaha.
What it comes down to is communication. If something is bugging you, say it. If something worries you, tell him. If you're concerned about losing your sense of 'self' by giving up your job - you have to discuss it with him. You want to spend your life with this man, you need to talk to him. :) Good Luck!
I say pay attention to your gut feelings about things. If you're hesitating about moving in and his talksports page is active with lots of stories saying he's sleazy..... better to wait and make SURE they're lies.
ReplyDeleteTo be honest, I think if there are tons of different stories on it, there is more of a chance of some being true.. I know many might disagree, but I have looked at some players' pages in my town and lo and behold, the ones who are known for being "good" and family-oriented have hardly any posts on their talksports page.. while the younger players who you hear about all the time being at bars and with girls seem to have tons of different stories. I mean, by making these stories up, what do the girls really have to gain!? Other than hurting the girlfriend or wife, but still gaining nothing.
I don't know how you girls do it, with your boyfriends and husbands being out of town and out of your sight so much.
Be careful, don't rush into things, but ya it sounds horrible if you're that insecure and worried about his talksports page. It's nice you felt comfortable enough to post on here openly and nicer still that no one has been rude to you yet (that I saw anyways!)
Unfortunately many of the stories on talk sports have some merit - Maybe not all of them, but some of them.
ReplyDeleteIf you are new to the hockey life - good luck. I've learned that girls won't tell anything. So if the other wives and girlfriends know that something is going on with your man, more than likely they aren't going to say a word.
I would suggest not losing too much of yourself to follow a guy around that you don;t feel secure with.
My cousin is an NHL wife and she told me about this blog, because my boyfriend plays in the NFL. I can relate with a lot of things that have been said, however I still think and always will think it is ludicrous to move away from your home and give up your life just to live with your boyfriend in his city. If you're married, that's a different story. This might be easier for me because the NFL season is much shorter with less travel so we don't have a hard time with this, but the reason my boyfriend was attracted to me in the first place is because I have my own independence and goals and aspirations. I never want to depend on him for anything. He is so passionate about football and he admires the fact that I have my own passions with my career. Because of this, he doesn't have to feel guilty about putting football before me. And with my career, I could easily move anywhere and get a job with no problem so that is not what is preventing me from living with him. I would never dream of asking him to give up football to move with me, and he wouldn't dream of asking me to give up my career to move with him him. We've come to enjoy the long distance - while he's gone I can still hang with my friends and have my own life, and when he comes home we enjoy spending time together and re-discovering each other. It makes us appreciate each other more. I wish people would see the benefits in a long distance relationship more.
ReplyDeleteAs for the talk sports boards, I know what they are however I won't go on them. Girls have that gut stalker instinct (I do too!) but it's mind over matter. Just don't go on them! Trust your boyfriend! If your boyfriend is grounded and the (quasi) fame hasn't gone to his head, then there's no reason he won't be loyal. And if he's asking you to live with him, I'd imagine he can't be banging skanks on the side because a live-in girlfriend would just ruin that! I know a lot of athletes are slutty, but I know that 99% of the team my boyfriend plays for can spot gold diggers and girls who just want to screw athletes a mile away and they steer clear of that. It's a turn off. And usually the girls are gross anyway!!!
Good luck to you and this tough decision. But consider what you're giving up and what he's asking you to give up. It's kind of selfish on his part. If he knew he'd be in that city the rest of his career, it might be different. But love your independence!!
Thank you ladies, I am the new Nhl g/f. But thank you all so much, you're advice is really helpful. I went to my bfs team's convention last wknd, but the rumours that came afterwards were a bit wild, So I realized that I can't believe everything I read on talksports or any other forum. And yes, I agree with the posters above, we discussed me moving in, but switching borders and transferring schools seems a bit hard, have not made nay decisions yet. As for the gf's, I haven't really gotten to know any gfs yet, but I hope their nice, like you ladies! Thank you all :)
ReplyDeleteI have a hard time keeping my excitement of my hubby's team losing out a "secret" also. He knows by then I am ready to get back home to friends and family and spend some time together, minus road trips, game-days, and all that goes with it. As much as I love our hockey life, it is soo nice to take time out from it each year to be a "normal" couple for a little bit. Love your posts, keep them up! :)
ReplyDeleteHmmm. For the most part I really love reading the comments and insights given from readers and hockey wives/girlfriends. The latter in particular really offer some genuinely interesting perspectives that we would not be privy to otherwise.
ReplyDeleteBut then I read things like, "Actually I met my boyfriend while I was in the stands at a game he played in my city"...I'm sorry, but while I want to give people the benefit of the doubt, this sounds incredibly far fetched to me. I want to hear authentic stories, and sadly this smacks of 'fan-fiction' type stuff to me. Maybe I'm wrong, and if so, my sincere apologies. Is it a common thing for women to meet their future NHL boyfriends as spectators in the stands at a game? Just curious.